In what has become a gruesome rite of passage for neophyte mechanics, another Source Interlink Media employee has been tragically soiled in a shop accident.

Justin Cesler, of Tampa, was pronounced filthy at the scene after being showered with several pints of lukewarm transmission fluid. His shirt and pants were transferred by ambulance to an area laundromat, where they later succumbed to their wounds.

Also killed in the accident was Mr. Cesler's dignity, which expired after a fit of vigorous taunting broke out in the editorial office.

Cesler is survived by his shoes, which continue to recuperate in a vat of Clorox Oxi-Magic.